The Solution to Entitlement

As a society there is a growing sense of entitlement. Young people desire a reward unearned. People turn up and expect to receive what everyone else gets. In some ways we seem to have given in - by handing out participation medals and fluffy narratives where we constantly praise taking part.

However, I think this entitlement stems from a much deeper issue. The fundamental rules of the game in society have been changed, and this has resulted in this feeling that we can have it all. By introducing and promoting a new set of rules, we will be collectively better as a society and can start to counteract this sense of entitlement for something better.

The Issue of Entitlement

Entitlement is a person’s belief that they deserve privileges or recognition just because of who they are. Not because of what they have done to earn them.

The world is filled with an apparent sense of entitlement. There is a feeling amongst young people that they believe they can have what they want without working for it. That people deserve things just because others have them or simply because they are alive.

There is a sense that we no longer understand the value of working hard, and struggling. But this idea has not been dreamed up, it is a symptom of a deeper problem.

What is Causing This

There is a real focus on achievements and what we do, instead of who we are. Accolades are placed above character in society's view. Achieving over character. Winning over failure. Pursuing what we think we desire over self-awareness over our actual desires. And everyone has become tired of being judged by what we do. Because it is never enough. We can never be enough as human beings when we are judged on what we do as there will always be someone else doing more or doing better.

Products are sold to us as if this will make your life easier, that life should be simple. Then sometime we experience the natural pain and struggle beyond our comfort zone. Marketing constantly tells us that we are not good enough but that can we be. Through messages like 'you deserve it' and 'because you're worth it.' This leaves us questioning whether we are are not worth it or do we deserve it. The general theme of entitlement is that we deserve it but then this is coming from a place that we are not good enough. This fear that we are currently not enough leaves us wanting more in the external world. Therefore entitlement may stem from not an overinflated sense of self-value but from a complete lack of it.

Entitlement is then actually an expression of anxiety and low self-esteem. It is a position of disempowerment.

We are in a perpetual state of anxiety we have created for ourselves. That we are not good enough - then there is a sense of entitlement to have the stuff that we are supposed to have so we can appear good enough and have a sense of self worth.

In ways humans were designed in this way. So we constantly strive for more. Like a carrot that is always out of front from us, constantly out of reach. We need to believe that we are entitled to things - so we keep striving to for more and more.

The more hopeless we feel, the more competitive our environment is, the more deserving we feel. Part of this deserving comes from the values that drive society, which are collectively embedded and not an individual statement. Therefore entitlement becomes a collective problem to solve. We need to change our collective values which are currently contrary to what is expected from individuals. We need to take personal responsibility, but also think about the wider context in which this is playing out under.

The Rules of the Game Have Changed

People are confusing success and privilege as these ideas are merging into one. Success has the strong connotation that an achievement was earned, whereas privilege arises as the result of no individual input.

A lot of people are spending time wallowing, being bitter about the achievements and successes of others, believing that peoples success is as a result of privileged and unearned. That the world is a zero sum game and others successes are begrudged as they feel the opportunity for that same success has been taken from them.

When people feel entitled they deal with disappointment by quitting, and running away and as they have a lack of hope.

Some tap themselves out of society. And although some people are legitimately prevented from success, lots have brought into a narrative that the system is working against them and so don't even try. But this can result in decades passing where everyone is blaming others for what they don't have and a growing sense of entitlement. And this destroys an individuals sense of agency.

To avoid this real issue in society we need to encourage that what you have or what you should have to be redefined and introspectively analysed. As we as a collective, need people in the arena, coming up with ideas, adding value to society and creating positive change. When people are scared to even enter the arena, or choose not too, we all lose out.

The game traditionally worked on the formula:

Work hard = success/result/reward

But with the material world now so much better and large shifts in society and technology and a fast-paced changing world, the rules of the game are changing.

People no longer want to work hard - as it is never enough and feels pointless. And the rewards of fancy houses no longer seem as appealing.

I believe that a new set of rules, that work in society today, should be encouraged. However, the issue we have is that people don't want to play the new game whilst people are still proclaiming the old rules of the game. Therefore we need to promote and actively encourage this new rule. Which I propose as:

The agency to pursue your own intrinsic values and interests = a meaningful life

It is unhelpful and counterproductive to be pedalling narratives that are simply keeping people in the old system, of which they are scared of entering.

The new rule I have introduced if far more aligned to the people's current day motivations. After all, we do have the agency to control our own lives and a meaningful life is what we are all after.

Engaging in these new rules, that are more effective, accurate and aligned. People will pursue their own diverse range of interests, love what they do and be impactful on society.

Solving Entitlement in the New World

To solve these issues that seem to have surfaced and become particularly prominent in recent years, we need a collective response.

We need everyone to feel a part of society - that they can actively engage in their interests and get the desired outcome. It is so important to emphasise that we have the choice of what we choose to do - and the agency to make it happen. We need to be rewarding and praising the right thing instead of desperately trying to replicate previous models that no longer work in the world we live in.

When people feel entitled they deal with disappointment by quitting, and running away as they have a lack of hope. Their whole sense of agency is removed. Entitlement is often thought about as getting the thing at the end. The supposed carrot. But what we should actually have entitlement over - is the agency to dream and make pathways towards that place, agency to believe that it is possible.

My new equation also highlights that there is no real end point, and that good things take time. Meaningful work and connections are long term endeavours. We don't want heavily pushed marketing messages that promote quick fixes and instant gratification. No one is showing us that good things take time. And commitment.

So you can achieve what you want to, even if it may feel like the messages prominently in society today are pushing you in an opposite direction. I believe that if my new formula became a back drop to society, we would be better off and the feeling of entitlement would soon fade to nothing.