Think Like a Monk
Think Like a Monk: The Secret of How to Harness the Power of Positivity and be Happy Now by Jay Shetty
🚀 The Book in 3 Sentences
Jay Shetty thinks we should all think like a monk by asking a simple question "How would a monk think about this?"
We as humans haven't changed in the last three thousand years. Monks teachings about forgiveness, energy, intentions, living with purpose and other topics are as resonant today as when they were written.
We can strip ourselves from the external influences, internal obstacles and fears that hold us back. This cleansing will give us space for growth to reshape our lives so we can make decisions with intention, purpose and confidence. Then, we can expand and share our sense of gratitude and deepen our relationships.
🎨 Impressions
This book felt like a broad, actionable, insightful guide into becoming more like a monk. There was lots of good advice to take forwards in your own life. The book contained a mixture of personal anecdotes of Jay's time as a monk, stories, philosophical teachings and quotes.
Because the book covers such a wide array of topics, it doesn't get into loads of depth into one area. At points I was missing this depth. However, it does mean you just get the important highlights and it becomes more relevant for your own life. It would have been nice to hear a little more about Jay's experience, when he does share his personal stories they are profound and impactful.
How I Discovered It
Jay Shetty has a Number 1 Podcast - On Purpose, which has lots of his wisdom and insights having spent time as a monk. It therefore made perfect sense to get the full picture and read this.
Who Should Read It?
Anyone who is struggling to find peace and purpose in the current world that is filled with uncertainty. This book will help clarify your thinking, regain control and provide a new perspective to give you a life more aligned with your purpose, and find calmness within yourself.
✍️ My Top 3 Quotes
Jay's first experience of a monk: My whole life I’d been fascinated by people who'd gone from nothing to something – rags-to-riches stories. Now, for the first time, I was in the presence of someone who had deliberately done the opposite. He'd given up the life the world had told me we should all want. But instead of being an embittered failure, he appeared joyous, confident, and at peace. In fact he seemed happier than anyone I had ever met. At the age of 18, I had encountered a lot of people who are rich. I listened to a lot of people who were famous, strong, good-looking, or all three. But I don’t think I'd met anyone who was truly happy.
When we tune out the opinions, expectations and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves.
To walk down the same old path and find a new stone is to open your mind.
📒 Summary + Notes
Our minds can either elevate us or pull us down. We can elevate to the monk mindset by digging down to the root of what we want and creating actionable steps growth. The monk mindset lifts us out of confusion and distraction and helps us find clarity, meaning and direction.
Part 1: Let Go
Identity:
the voices of parents, friends, education and media all crows a young persons mind, seeding beliefs and values. Society's definition of a happy life is everybody's and nobody's. The only way to build a meaningful life is to filer out that noise and look within. When we tune out of the opinions, expectations and obligations of the world around us, we begin to hear ourselves.
Negativity
We're wired to conform. Your brain would rather not deal with conflict and debate. It would prefer to lounge in the comfort of like-mindlessness. But if we're surrounded by gossip., conflict, and negatively we start to see the world in those terms.
Negativity is a trait not an identity. A persons true nature can be obscured by clouds, but, like the sun, it is always there. And clouds can overcome any of us.
To purify our thoughts, monks talk about the process of awareness, addressing and amending.
Fear
"Fear does not prevent death. It prevents life" Buddha
Shift from "I am angry, to I feel angry" Having this perspective calms down our initial reactions and gives us the space to examine our fear and the situation around it without judgement.
When we deny fear, our problems follow us. In fact, they are probably getting bigger and bigger and at some point something will force us to deal with them.
Intention: Think about the four motivations
Fear
Desire - personal gratification through success, wealth and pleasure
Duty - motivated by gratitude, responsibility, and the desire to do the right thing
Love - compelled by care for others and urge to help them
As long as we keep attaching our happiness to external events of our lives, which are ever-changing, we'll always be left waiting. Because our search is never for a thing, but a feeling we think the thing will give us.
Life is more meaningful when we define ourselves by our intentions rather than our achievements.
Breathe
Your breathing changes with your emotions. We hold our breathe when we are concentrating, and we take shallow breathes when nervous. But these responses are instinctive rather than helpful, meaning that to hold your breath doesn't really improve your concentration and shallow breathing actually makes anxiety worse. Controlled breathing is an medicate way to steady yourself, a portable tool you can use to shift your energy on the fly.
Part 2: Grow
Purpose
Steve Jobs "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life"
We come to realise that we can't do everything. Our limitations make space for the gifts of other people. Instead of focusing on our weaknesses, we lean into our strengths and look for ways to make them central in our lives.
Monks ask themselves, what did I like about that? Am I good at it? Do I want to read, learn about it, spend a lot of my time doing it? Am I driven to improve? What made me feel comfortable or uncomfortable?
Routine
Monks learn that a desired distraction at work bleeds into an unwanted distraction on vacation. Distraction at lunch bleeds into the afternoon. We are training our minds to be where we physically aren't. If you allow yourself to daydream, you will always be distracted. Being present is the only way to live truly rich and full life.
Location has energy; time has memory. If you do something at the same time every day it becomes easier and natural. If you do something in the same space every day, it becomes easier and natural.
Routines are counterintuitive - instead of being boring and repetition, doing the same tasks at the same time in the same place makes room for creativity. The consistent energy of location and memory of time help us to be present in the moment, engaging deeply in tasks instead of getting distracted or frustrated. Build routines and train yourself as monks do, to find focus and achieve deep immersion.
The Mind
Chodron says "You are the sky. Everything else - its just the weather"
The mind already has certain instinctive patters that we never consciously choose. Imagine you have al alarm on your phone set to ring at the same time every morning. It's an excellent system, until a holiday comes along and the alarm goes off anyway. hat alarm is like our subconscious. it is already programmes and defaults to the same thoughts and actions day after day. We live much of our lives following the same path we have always taken, for better or worse, and these thoughts and behaviours will never change unless we actively reprogram ourselves.
"Insanity is going the same thing again and again and expecting different results"
"Detachment is not that you own nothing, but that nothing should own you" Prophet Muhammed
Ego
When we are humble, we are open to learning because we understand how much we don't know. It follows that the biggest obstacle to learning is being a know-it-all. This false self-confidence is rooted in the ego.
Instead of worrying what people will say, we filer what people will say. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we cleanse out minds and look to improve ourselves. Instead of wanting to prove ourselves, we want to be ourselves, meaning we are not distracted by external wants. We live with intention.
Part 3: Give
Gratitude
We tend to think of gratitude as appreciation for what we have been given. Monks feel the same way. If you ask a monk what he has been given, the answer is everything. The rich complexity of life is full of gifts and lessons that we can’t always see clearly what they are, so why not choose to be grateful for what it is, and what is possible? Embrace gratitude through daily practice, both internally, in how you look at your life and the world around you, and through action. Gratitude generates kindness and the spirit will reverberate around our communities, bringing the highest intentions to those around us.
Gratitude is the mother of all qualities. As a mother gives birth, gratitude brings forth all other qualities – compassion, resilience, confidence, passion – positive traits that help us find meaning and connect with others.
Service
Service is always the answer. It fixes a bad day. It tempers the burdens we bear. Service helps other people and helps us. We don't expect anything in return, but what we get is the joy of service. It is an exchange of love. When your living in service, you don't have time to complain or criticise. When your living in service, your fears go away. When your living in service, you feel grateful. Your material attachments diminish. Service is the direct path to a meaningful life.
Conclusion:
To find our way through the universe, we must start by genuinely asking questions. You might travel to a new place or go someplace where no one knows you. Disable your autopilot to see yourself and the world around you with new eyes. Train your mind to observe the forces that influence you, detach from illusion and false beliefs and continually look for what motivates you and what feels meaningful.
What would a monk di in this moment?
When your making a decision, when you're having an argument, when your planning your weekends, when your scared upset or angry or lost, ask this question. You'll find the answer 99% of the time.
And eventually when you've uncovered your real self, you won't need to ask yourself what a monk would do. You can simply ask - "What would I do?"
